This morning I concocted a deadly brew of a Everything Bagel with sour cream and chives cream cheese and a monster java energy drink and a 9 am meeting. By 10 am things had began to change in my body. At first I felt content, and full of energy. Then it happened. One deep rumble and I knew that something bad was going to happen. I endured the last of my meeting and headed to the bathroom. No one there, sweet! I check under the doors to be sure and head into the handicapalble stall at the end of the
Out loud I exclaim "oh no you didn't!" Just as I hear the "oh" come out of my mouth the bathroom door opens. In my mind my brain sends commands to my mouth to quickly close. Too late, there is a 404 error caused by the smell of bathroom air freshener. Unknown bathroom person has entered the room and has heard me. I hear a snicker of someone wondering why I just got all ghetto with a turd by shouting "oh no you didn't". I know they are wondering if I am about to take off my earrings and Vaseline my face and throw down. I am now trapped. I wait, it seems they are just peeing. I wait, they leave the stall, wash hands.... no door open. Crap. Checking make up. The seconds are years. Finally they leave. I wait for them to clear the hall and bolt. My ass smells like a mountain meadow.
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